First Date, Family Date

Last month Hideaki and I went on our first date, just the two of us, in seven months. That's a long time to wait by North American standards and totally normal, if not early, by Japanese standards. It wasn't how I planned it- if I had my way we'd have been having a weekly date night since Shuma was born. But it turns out that Shuma is rather unbabysittable, as he doesn't know how to use a bottle and can only be fed by me.

But when Shuma was born our city gave us vouchers for free babysitting, and we finally realized we'd be crazy not to use them. So we dropped Shuma off at the government-approved babysitter around the corner and went out for lunch (for some reason the babysitters are only allowed to work until 5:00). We were tempted to just head back and spend our allotted two hours at home (nudge nudge, wink wink) but figured since we'd gotten all dressed up we might as well go out.

We originally wanted to eat at a newish Italian place nearby but couldn't get a reservation, so we went to Sakai, another Italian place a bit farther away. It's been around forever but is the kind of slightly intimidating old neighborhood restaurant that seems to stay in business due to the loyalty of its regulars, and we'd avoided it. Turns out it's a great family-run business, with an old-school Japanese-Italian menu, and although the interior is old and faded, the service a bit gruff, and the presentation a little sloppy, the cooking is great. That's my lunch above: spinach linguine with seafood in tomato sauce, and it was delicious. While we were there it seemed like everyone who came in was indeed a regular, and we wouldn't mine becoming regulars ourselves.

Predictably we spent most of the lunch talking about Shuma. We weren't exactly worried but were intensely curious about what he was doing and figured he was probably bawling his eyes out and driving the babysitter crazy. But when we picked him up after two hours she came to the door with our son, who was yawning and looking perfectly content. And then when he turned around and saw us he turned right back around and started crying! Ouch, that hurt.

He tried to cling to her as she handed him back. "So he's been crying the whole time?" we asked, but she said this was the first time he'd cried and that he'd been great. "We played for a while, then he got sleepy and I put him down for a nap. He's only crying because he just woke up." This is the same baby who has been completely unable to nap by himself (as in he has to be in my lap, on Hideaki's shoulder or in a carrier) since he outgrew his swing chair at three and a half months. I would think she was lying if not for the fact that Shuma had also napped the month before when we were in Osaka and my mother-in-law looked after him while I went to the doctor (his only other experience being babysat).

While I'm tempted to think these ladies are just having me on, it probably means that veteran baby experts know secret napping techniques, and that I am doing it all wrong. So although it was really nice to spend some time alone with my husband, it was also a bit of a blow to my ego.

Please, will someone share those secret napping techniques?

We eat out as a family a few times a month, and surprisingly the places we go to are not terribly different from before- the places we can afford tend to be family-friendly already. One Sunday we had lunch at Butcher's Table, a local burger shop. We started with some excellent onion rings that could have been a meal by themselves, and were made all the better with delicious home-made ketchup.

Next we had burgers. That's my avocado cheeseburger above, with fries that weren't quite as good as the onion rings but thanks to the ketchup were totally acceptable. The burgers were good but Hideaki found them a bit overpriced (I don't eat hamburgers often enough to know what their going rate is, but for what it's worth my burger and fries were 1050 yen). We sat on their tiny patio which was kind of nice but kind of not as it was right up against a narrow and fairly busy sidewalk and everone who passed by checked out either our food or Shuma.

Last week Hideaki had a day off right when Shuma's new passport was ready to be picked up in Ikebukuro. This is his Japanese passport (he won't be able to apply for a Canadian one until we get his proof of citizenship papers in a few months) and applying for it a few weeks before that was my easiest and most pleasant experience with Japanese officialdom ever. If only immigration and city hall were that nice to deal with. So anyway for the next five years Shuma will be using a passport with a picture of him at three months old, looking extremely grumpy. Yes, the pictures are nearly five months old: I meant to get the passport before Christmas last year but things got a little busy. Same goes for his Canadian citizenship, which I applied for recently after filling out the forms way back in December. He's changed since then, and going over the paperwork last week I had to cross out "Grey" in the box about eye colour and fill in "Brown". It actually brought a few tears to my eye, thinking about how much he's already grown.

After we got the passport we had lunch at Joe's Shanghai, way up on the 59th floor of Ikebukuro's Sunshine City. We got a little room to ourselves in the corner, with what would have been an amazing view if not for the clouds. A few minutes after I took this picture the cloud cover was complete and all we saw was white. Oh well.

Shuma charmed the pants off of our waiter, who kept coming to visit and make funny faces, and on our way out held him for so long that we wondered if he'd ever give us our baby back. That's not a complaint, by the way- we love it when strangers fuss over Shuma, because Shuma loves it.

Joe's Shanghai is known for its shourampo (xiaolongbao, or soup dumplings), and we had them filled with pork and with crab. Very very good, especially the crab, which was rich with tomalley.

On our way home we realized we should have taken a picture of the waiter with Shuma, because they both looked so happy, and also should have asked him to take a picture of us. We only have a few pictures of us all together, and there we were all dressed up. And those pesky clouds made a wonderful natural light source. I guess we'll just have to go back.

Comments

[pockosmum]

It's nutty that kids' passports don't change for five years...Taku was a drooling blob in his, it was comical going through customs with him as a kindergartner, with his ID picture The Blob. I always kept a recent pic taken with me in the passport in case he ever got lost. I could both prove what he looked like and that he was my kid.

[natashapat]

I'm 15 and I would just enjoy talking to this guy who I really like and who really likes me too.
Nitro Muscle Mass

[Sara A]

Ah hah... secret napping technique! I know that one. Here's the thing. Shuma adores you and wants to spend time with YOU. You are way too valuable for him to waste time sleeping when he has the pleasure of your company. So he won't want to nap for you. On the other hand, a stranger or less known relative is not someone he is totally in love with, so sleeping is fine if they are around.
It's the curse and blessing of motherhood. Ganbatte, ne!

[kojirou]

jrちょーかわいいなーってゆーてんで
おっさんちょー老けたなー

　　　　　　　

[nghi]

Bébé est vraiment marrant car il a la même expression espiègle sur toutes les photos . Trop , trop mignon , à croquer .

NL

[phil luker]

I am from america and enjoy reading only a few blogs. Yours is wonderful. your pics of food and family is so nice. My wife and I laugh at the pics of Shuma because you always take a pic of him laying on a nice blanket and he looks like he's floating in space.

I'm starting to really learn about life in Japan.

I pray for Japan that the repairs from the horrible tsunami go well.

Phil in Texas!

[illahee]

sara is right: the secret napping technique is having someone else be there at nap time!

[Jaye]

Just a recent lurker here... Joe's Shanghai! They have a couple locations in NYC. I love xiao long bao - here in DC, they just don't make them right. -Jaye

[David]

Time well spent it seems. That's one of the things I miss about Tokyo, having lunch way up in towers. A burger and fries for 1050 is a pretty good price compared to Vancouver.
We always seemed to bring our daughter on dates, I guess there was no difference to the other times we ate as a family in restaurants. She was so well behaved that people would complement her. We used to bring food from home for her, and we would order for ourselves off the menu. That kinda bugged me, but I've heard that's normal in Japan.
It's tough to let others babysit at first, but I found that the worries that mothers have can sometimes be exaggerated. My wife was convinced that no one except her could take care of our daughter. When the time came, the babysitter said it was a breeze. I think babies figure it out pretty quick, and adapt well.